From crispen@campus.mci.netThu May 16 08:52:22 1996
Date: Wed, 15 May 1996 21:05:36 -0700
From: Patrick Douglas Crispen
Reply to: TOURBUS-REQUEST@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
To: Multiple recipients of list TOURBUS
Subject: TOURBUS - MAY 16 - TOP5
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\___/ \___/ T h e I n t e r n e t T o u r B u s \___/
TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP : TOP5
TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESSES : TOP5@WALRUS.COM
LISTSERV fall down and go BOOM! :)
Sorry for the recent repost of the February 22 tour ("Foothills"). I'm
really not quite sure what happened, but seeing that it took THREE MONTHS
for the "Foothills" post to be delivered, I have a sinking feeling that the
United States Post Office is somehow behind all of this.
I'd hunt down what the problem is, but since the University of Alabama's
Interim session started a few days ago -- I'm taking a "current economic
problems" class, which means that I get to spend yet ANOTHER semester
discussing "rational expectations" and the "efficient markets hypothesis"
(oh, joy) -- it looks like my days are going to be filled with studying and
my nights filled with dinners that take about 2 minutes to fix.
Fortunately ...
*---------------------* THE NOODLES ARE COMING! *--------------------*
The Flying Noodle has a cool collection of gourmet pastas and sauces
on-line. Mention The Tourbus and we'll take $5 off any order over $20.
*--------------------( http://www.flyingnoodle.com )-------------------*
NOTE: Today' TOURBUS is stopping at a relatively clean humor list (the
worst word I have seen on this humor list recently is "ca-ca"). I must
warn you, however, that the content on the humor list that we are visiting
today is VERY sarcastic and full of satire. So, if you are someone who is
easily offended by sarcasm and satire, I would strongly recommend that you
not read today's TOURBUS post :)
With that said, I am happy to announce that one of my favorite e-mail lists
ever -- TOP5 -- has come back from the dead!
This is going to be a little difficult to explain, but bear with me. TOP5
is the distribution list for the "Top 5 list." The Top 5 list is a little
like David Letterman's Top Ten lists, only funnier. Each daily Top 5 list
has a topic (like "The Top 5 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas") and a list
of funny responses to that topic (like "Beerios").
Actually, the name "Top 5 list" is a misnomer. It's called "The Top 5
List" because when Chris White first started the TOP5 list back in January
of 1994, it was hard for him to come up with more than 5 funny items for
each day's list. Now Chris gets at least 150 contributions each day that
are worthy of making that day's Top 5 list, so it is not unusual to see a
Top 5 list with 15 or 20 items on it :)
To be a contributor to TOP5 is not easy. Potential TOP5 contributors are
forced to undergo a rigorous test to prove their comedic worth (I was in
the midst of completing my humor test last July when TOP5 went into a nine
month hibernation). There are only 150 people who currently contribute to
the TOP5 list, and all of their contributions are edited by the TOP5
listowner, Chris White. Chris collates and does some slight re-wordings of
the submissions, throwing out submissions that are in particularly bad
taste (ones that are racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.). Once Chris
collates and edits the submissions, he then sends out a new Top 5 list
every day.
While becoming a contributor to TOP5 is pretty difficult, subscribing to
TOP5 so that you can receive each day's Top 5 list is simple! Before I
tell you how to subscribe, however, I want to give you a sneak peek at what
a typical Top 5 list looks like.
The following is taken from a recent Top 5 list: "The Top 19 Rejected
Breakfast Cereal Ideas." My personal favorite is #7 :)
The Top 19 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas."
19> Beerios
18> Kevorkian Krispies
17> Honeymoon Nuts
16> Chernobyl Charms
15> Eboli-O's
14> Cap'n Crack
13> Kellogg's Ganja Puffs
12> Lucky Tabs O' Acid
11> Colostomy Crunch
10> Phil Graham Crackers
9> Fruit & Fabio
8> Look Again -- Them Ain't Raisins!
7> Post-Modern Toasties and Rococo Puffs
6> Limbaugh Logs
5> Kellogg's "None of Your Goddam Business"
4> Special AK47
3> UnaBran
2> Nut 'N' Bitch
and the Number 1 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Idea...
1> CaCa Puffs
If you want to subscribe to the TOP5 list, just send an e-mail letter to
top5@walrus.com
with the word
SUBSCRIBE
in the *SUBJECT LINE* of your e-mail letter.
That's it for today. Have a great (and safe) weekend!
--------------------------------
TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE DAY
--------------------------------
SHEENRY - Noun. Tool or tools
Usage: "Don't no nuttin bout no sheenry".
(Special thanks goes to Susan Pongracz for today's wurd)
YOU CAN FIND ALL OF THE OLD SOUTHERN WORDS OF THE DAY ON THE SOUTHERN WORD
HOMEPAGE AT http://ua1vm.ua.edu/~crispen/word.html
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======================================================================
TOURBUS - (c) Copyright 1996, Patrick Crispen and Bob Rankin
All rights reserved. Redistribution is allowed only with permission.
Send this copy to 3 friends and tell them to get on the Bus!
(\__/) .~ ~. ))
/O O ./ .' Patrick Douglas Crispen
{O__, \ { The University of Alabama
/ . . ) \ *NEW ADDRESS* crispen@campus.mci.net *NEW ADDRESS*
|-| '-' \ } http://ua1vm.ua.edu/~crispen/crispen.html
.( _( )_.'
'---.~_ _ _& Warning: squirrels.
