From crispen@campus.mci.netThu May 16 08:52:22 1996 Date: Wed, 15 May 1996 21:05:36 -0700 From: Patrick Douglas CrispenReply to: TOURBUS-REQUEST@LISTSERV.AOL.COM To: Multiple recipients of list TOURBUS Subject: TOURBUS - MAY 16 - TOP5 /~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~|~\ | "Why | Surf When / You Can | Ride The | Bus?" / | \ |__________|__________/__________|__________|_________/ | \ / /______|----\ / Be the first web-surfer on your block to own an |//////| | | ultra-cool WorldVillage T-shirt. For more info visit |//////| | | http://www.worldvillage.com/tshirt.htm |//////| | | |//////| | ~~~/~~~\~~/~~~\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~\~~~~ \___/ \___/ T h e I n t e r n e t T o u r B u s \___/ TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP : TOP5 TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESSES : TOP5@WALRUS.COM LISTSERV fall down and go BOOM! :) Sorry for the recent repost of the February 22 tour ("Foothills"). I'm really not quite sure what happened, but seeing that it took THREE MONTHS for the "Foothills" post to be delivered, I have a sinking feeling that the United States Post Office is somehow behind all of this. I'd hunt down what the problem is, but since the University of Alabama's Interim session started a few days ago -- I'm taking a "current economic problems" class, which means that I get to spend yet ANOTHER semester discussing "rational expectations" and the "efficient markets hypothesis" (oh, joy) -- it looks like my days are going to be filled with studying and my nights filled with dinners that take about 2 minutes to fix. Fortunately ... *---------------------* THE NOODLES ARE COMING! *--------------------* The Flying Noodle has a cool collection of gourmet pastas and sauces on-line. Mention The Tourbus and we'll take $5 off any order over $20. *--------------------( http://www.flyingnoodle.com )-------------------* NOTE: Today' TOURBUS is stopping at a relatively clean humor list (the worst word I have seen on this humor list recently is "ca-ca"). I must warn you, however, that the content on the humor list that we are visiting today is VERY sarcastic and full of satire. So, if you are someone who is easily offended by sarcasm and satire, I would strongly recommend that you not read today's TOURBUS post :) With that said, I am happy to announce that one of my favorite e-mail lists ever -- TOP5 -- has come back from the dead! This is going to be a little difficult to explain, but bear with me. TOP5 is the distribution list for the "Top 5 list." The Top 5 list is a little like David Letterman's Top Ten lists, only funnier. Each daily Top 5 list has a topic (like "The Top 5 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas") and a list of funny responses to that topic (like "Beerios"). Actually, the name "Top 5 list" is a misnomer. It's called "The Top 5 List" because when Chris White first started the TOP5 list back in January of 1994, it was hard for him to come up with more than 5 funny items for each day's list. Now Chris gets at least 150 contributions each day that are worthy of making that day's Top 5 list, so it is not unusual to see a Top 5 list with 15 or 20 items on it :) To be a contributor to TOP5 is not easy. Potential TOP5 contributors are forced to undergo a rigorous test to prove their comedic worth (I was in the midst of completing my humor test last July when TOP5 went into a nine month hibernation). There are only 150 people who currently contribute to the TOP5 list, and all of their contributions are edited by the TOP5 listowner, Chris White. Chris collates and does some slight re-wordings of the submissions, throwing out submissions that are in particularly bad taste (ones that are racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.). Once Chris collates and edits the submissions, he then sends out a new Top 5 list every day. While becoming a contributor to TOP5 is pretty difficult, subscribing to TOP5 so that you can receive each day's Top 5 list is simple! Before I tell you how to subscribe, however, I want to give you a sneak peek at what a typical Top 5 list looks like. The following is taken from a recent Top 5 list: "The Top 19 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas." My personal favorite is #7 :) The Top 19 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas." 19> Beerios 18> Kevorkian Krispies 17> Honeymoon Nuts 16> Chernobyl Charms 15> Eboli-O's 14> Cap'n Crack 13> Kellogg's Ganja Puffs 12> Lucky Tabs O' Acid 11> Colostomy Crunch 10> Phil Graham Crackers 9> Fruit & Fabio 8> Look Again -- Them Ain't Raisins! 7> Post-Modern Toasties and Rococo Puffs 6> Limbaugh Logs 5> Kellogg's "None of Your Goddam Business" 4> Special AK47 3> UnaBran 2> Nut 'N' Bitch and the Number 1 Rejected Breakfast Cereal Idea... 1> CaCa Puffs If you want to subscribe to the TOP5 list, just send an e-mail letter to top5@walrus.com with the word SUBSCRIBE in the *SUBJECT LINE* of your e-mail letter. That's it for today. Have a great (and safe) weekend! -------------------------------- TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE DAY -------------------------------- SHEENRY - Noun. Tool or tools Usage: "Don't no nuttin bout no sheenry". (Special thanks goes to Susan Pongracz for today's wurd) YOU CAN FIND ALL OF THE OLD SOUTHERN WORDS OF THE DAY ON THE SOUTHERN WORD HOMEPAGE AT http://ua1vm.ua.edu/~crispen/word.html *----------------* BIG-TIME MAGAZINES FOR $10 A YEAR? *----------------* Take a ride to Magazine Express for exclusive TOURBUS discounts, and get Dr. Bob's new "Internet Goodies" for FREE. For details, e-mail to *-----------------------( tourbus@magazines.com )------------------------* ====================================================================== SUBSCRIBE : Send SUBSCRIBE TOURBUS Firstname Lastname to LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM unSUBSCRIBE: Send SIGNOFF TOURBUS to LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Web Site : http://www.WorldVillage.com/tourbus.htm Advertising: E-mail BobRankin@MHV.net w/ Subject: SEND TBRATES ====================================================================== TOURBUS - (c) Copyright 1996, Patrick Crispen and Bob Rankin All rights reserved. Redistribution is allowed only with permission. Send this copy to 3 friends and tell them to get on the Bus! (\__/) .~ ~. )) /O O ./ .' Patrick Douglas Crispen {O__, \ { The University of Alabama / . . ) \ *NEW ADDRESS* crispen@campus.mci.net *NEW ADDRESS* |-| '-' \ } http://ua1vm.ua.edu/~crispen/crispen.html .( _( )_.' '---.~_ _ _& Warning: squirrels.
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