From: crispen@NETSQUIRREL.COM Reply-To: TOURBUS-Request@LISTSERV.AOL.COM To: TOURBUS@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Subject: TOURBUS -- 9 JULY 1998 -- BEST OF TOURBUS #5: SEND YOUR KIDS TO MARS! This post contains inline ASCII graphics that look best in a monospace font like Courier. Text-to-speech readers should turn off punctuation now. _________ ____________ ________ __________ _____________ ___ _ / | / | | / | \ | JOIN THE INTERNATIONAL ADVISORY PANEL / | \ |__________|__________/__________|__________|___________/ | \ / /______|----\ | Answer Questions on Interesting Topics and |//////| | | Win $$$ Prizes. Email: Info@AdvisoryPanel.com |//////| | | Or Click! |//////| | \________________________________________________________|______|____| / \ / \ / \ \___/ \___/ T h e I n t e r n e t T o u r B u s \___/ TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP: The Best of TOURBUS #5: SEND YOUR KIDS TO MARS! TODAY'S ADDRESS: http://spacekids.hq.nasa.gov/mars/home.htm Howdy, y'all! :) I am happy to announce that your fearless bus driver has survived GBA 490 ("strategic management")! In fact, in spite of the 48% I received on my case study assignment (you will remember that 73% of the class received a failing grade on that assignment) I was able to eke out a "B" in the class. What I am most proud of, though, is how well my company did in the class' "business strategy game." Here is a quick look my company's results: Year 11 Year 20 ------- ------- Rank (out of 14 companies) 14 4 Sales Revenues (in millions) 82,490 305,995 Total Profit (in millions) 5,116 28,266 Earnings Per Share 0.93 5.65 Return on Equity 10.86% 14.57% Bond Rating C AAA Company Value (in millions) 32,450 218,600 Stock Price 6 43 3/4 Unfortunately, TOURBUS doesn't have a stock price of 43.75. In fact, unless Bob is hiding something from me, I don't think we've issued *any* stock ... yet. Until we do, we're going to have to rely on our wonderful sponsors to keep our little bus of Internet happiness on the road week after week. Make sure you visit each of today's sponsors to thank them for their support! :) --------------> SAVE MONEY! SAVE MONEY! SAVE MONEY! <--------------- Refill your inkjet printer. Black ink: $21.95/pint. Color: $23.95/pint. Call 1-888-728-2465 or visit our Website Here! --------------> http://www.oddparts.com/ink/tour.htm <---------------- -------------------> Free Virtual Greeting Cards <-------------------- See all four panels of your card just like a real greeting card. These free cards feature an exciting multimedia blend of sound effects, music, and animations. Humor, serious, thoughtful and sincere. Best of all they're absolutely free! Visit our Web site! ------------------> http://www.greetingsonline.com <------------------ Since Bob and I are still celebrating TOURBUS third anniversary, I thought I'd send you one of my favorite TOURBUS posts from the past year. Unfortunately, this stop is going to become obsolete pretty quickly. On Wednesday, July 15th (TWO DAYS FROM TODAY), NASA will be closing down the following site FOREVER! If you didn't visit this site when we visited it back in February, you had better hurry up and visit it while you still can! :) ----------------------------- SEND YOUR KID'S NAME TO MARS! ----------------------------- The nice folks at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration want to send your kid's name to the surface of Mars. As a way of promoting the planned 1999 launch of the Mars Polar Lander, NASA is collecting the names of school children from all over the world. These names will then be stored on a CD-ROM that will be shot into space as part of the Mars Polar Lander's payload. Adding your name to the list is pretty easy (and, best of all, it is totally FREE!). Just point your Web browser to http://spacekids.hq.nasa.gov/mars/home.htm Then, click on the words "Sign Me Up!" at the bottom of the page. The rest of the instructions are pretty self-explanatory (type in your name, and then click on the "Add Me" button). Now for the cool part. After you add your kid's name to the list of other names being sent to Mars, NASA automatically forwards you to a page where you can view, download, and even print a certificate showing that your kid's name is now part of the payload of the Mars Polar Lander. Three version of this certificate are available: 1. A screen version (that looks GREAT but may be hard to see on small screens); 2. A print version (which looks okay, but uses your browser's less than spectacular default font -- usually Times or Times New Roman); and 3. A blank 87Kb Adobe Acrobat version (you have to have Adobe's free Acrobat reader to view this file; once you open the file, you need to highlight the words "Type Name Here" and then type in your kid's name -- and make sure you press the "enter" key before you print the certificate). All three versions of the certificate are pretty impressive, but the best results come from printing the PDF version on a high-quality color printer. The certificates' message is also pretty cool: Thank you for participating in this historic event. The Mars Polar Lander and future missions to Mars will help us unravel many of the mysteries surrounding the red planet. One day we hope to send space explorers to Mars and beyond. You could be that future explorer, but only if you stay in school and study hard, especially in the areas of math, science, and computer technology. Remember to keep your eyes on the skies because your name is now part of the cosmos! My favorite part of this message, of course, is the part that says "stay in school." I think I might just follow that advice. :) -------------------------------- TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE DAY -------------------------------- SKWURL (Noun). Tree rat. (The true test of "Southern-ness" is your ability to say this word in *ONE* syllable). Usage: "Look at that skwurl up thar on that par line! I wunner what he's up to." (Special thanks to me for today's wurd) You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html =====================[ TOURBUS Rider Information ]=================== The Internet TOURBUS - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-98, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Archives on the Web at http://www.TOURBUS.com ===================================================================== .~~~. )) (\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen /o o \/ .~ {o_, \ { **NEW** crispen@netsquirrel.com **NEW** / , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/ `~ '-' \ } )) _( ( )_.' Warning: squirrels. '---..{____}
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