TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: COMPUTER HUMOR

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!

Do you remember the TV commercials for Windows XP where enraptured users would spread their arms and fly? Apparently this was no marketing gimmick. According to a story in BBSpot Technology News, the MSFlight technology can in fact propel users to greater heights. But some experts are warning that flaws in XP can result in serious injury. If the system crashes, you do too...

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2001/11/flight.html

Okay, okay... hold the letters. It's only satire, but I think you'll enjoy reading some of the other BBSpot "news" features, such as "Underclocking Becomes Latest Computer Craze", "Shocking Software Boosts Productivity" and "ICQ Log Study Shows Americans Have Ungood Grammer". You can find them all here:

http://www.bbspot.com/archives

NORTON SYSTEMWORKS SAVED MY BACON!

Computer viruses are no joke. But you just might laugh all the way to the bank after saving a bundle of money on Norton SystemWorks 2003 Professional. It's FIVE ESSENTIAL utilities with advanced tools for optimal PC Tuning, Protection and Performance. Just $39.99 gets you ALL of the following titles:

---> Norton Anti-Virus, Norton Utilities, Norton Ghost ---> Norton Cleansweep, Roxio GoBack

I use the Norton software all the time. The anti-virus gives me peace of mind even when my kids use the office computer, and that Norton Recycle Bin really comes in handy when you're looking for lost files.

http://tourbus.com/cgi-bin/go2/15649

HUMOR THAT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY

Since 1987, Brad Templeton has been collecting jokes and distributing them through the rec.humor.funny newsgroup on Usenet. You can find an archive of the best Computer, Science and Math Jokes here:

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/computer.html

SATIRE ON THE WIRE

Cited as "Pure lunacy" (Fast Company), "Hilarious" (Wired), and a "Pick of the Year" by the likes of BusinessWeek, SatireWire produced some of the best workplace and computer humor from 1999 to 2002. SatireWire is no longer published, but the archives are still there, and still very funny. Search or browse the archives for "Napster Ordered to Stop As Soon As Judges Finish Downloading", "Silicon Pines: Assisted Computing Facility" and "Employee-Slapping Widespread, Effective".

http://www.satirewire.com

DIDJA EVER WANT TO JUST BREAK SOMETHING?

In the Illustrated Guide To Breaking Computers - you'll learn now to defrag your hard drive with a hacksaw, or adjust your monitor settings with a hammer.

http://members.aol.com/spoons1000/break

I'M NOT LAUGHING...

Everyone has a different opinion about what's funny and what's not. If none of the above tickled your funny bone, then try Yahoo's humor directory here:

http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Humor

In the Computer and Internet category you'll find jokes about clams and the International Monetary Fund.

THE NEXT BEST THING

Linda from Marlinton, West Virginia recently wrote and said "The next best thing to Tourbus is the Smart Computing magazine that you guys recommend. I've been getting it since last summer and it has solved numerous problems for me and my friends."

Thanks, Linda! We hope other Tourbus riders will discover the Plain English answers to their computing questions that Smart Computing delivers every month. Do you want to speed up your PC? Get rid of spyware and keep hackers out? Try Smart Computing today -- get your FREE TRIAL issue NOW!

http://tourbus.com/smart.htm

I'm still planning that followup about online privacy, so stay tuned next week. That's all for now, I'll see you next time! --Bob Rankin