Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 02:05:33 -0600
Reply-To: TOURBUS-Request@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
Sender: The Internet TourBus - A virtual tour of cyberspace
Comments: Resent-From: crispen@netsquirrel.com
Comments: Originally-From: Patrick Douglas Crispen
From: crispen@NETSQUIRREL.COM
Subject: TOURBUS -- 28 JANUARY 1999 -- MICROSOFT Y2K TOOLS / MICROSOFT
PATCHES
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TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP(S):
Microsoft's Y2K Tools / Some Microsoft Patches
TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESS(ES):
http://204.118.129.122/y2kcd/y2kcd.asp
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/wd97sp.htm
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/fm2paste.htm
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On with the show ...
---------------------
Microsoft's Y2K Tools
---------------------
In response to everyone's concerns about the "Y2K problem," Microsoft
is working on a free program called the "Microsoft Product Analyzer"
that
scans a user's hard drive to create an inventory of Microsoft
products, compares this inventory to the Microsoft year 2000
compliance product guides, identifies products (if any) for which
the user should download a free software update, and provides
URLs to enable the user to obtain the updates easily.
[quote taken from a Microsoft press release at
http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/press/1999/jan99/y2krespr.htm]
Now for the bad news: the Microsoft Product Analyzer does not actually
exist ... yet. Microsoft predicts that the free program will be
"available for distribution this quarter" (in other words, it will be
released sometime between now and April Fools Day). Of course, your
fearless bus driver plans to give you the Product Analyzer's URL as
soon as Microsoft releases it.
For those of you who like CD-ROMs, Microsoft has also created a free,
quarterly, Y2K Resource CD. Microsoft customers can subscribe to this
quarterly CD-ROM free of charge by calling (888) 673-8925 or by
filling out a free, online subscription form at
http://204.118.129.122/y2kcd/y2kcd.asp
http://204.118.129.122/y2kcd/y2kcd.asp
According to Microsoft,
distribution is available to US and Canada only. International
distribution channels for the English CD are currently being
developed, so please allow some delay in international shipments.
All this means is that everyone around the world is invited to fill
out this form, but it may take a little while for international
customers to receive their quarterly Microsoft Y2K Resource CD-ROMs.
Between you and me, this delay is not a great loss. According to
Microsoft, the first version of their CD-ROM, which is available now,
includes product guides, white papers and year 2000 information.
In the second quarter the CD will also include assessment tools
and information on how customers can address their end-to-end
year 2000 compliance challenge, including hardware, operating
system, applications, documents, custom code and data interfaces.
I hate to burst Microsoft's bubble, but unless you are either a
certified systems engineer or a SERIOUS computer wonk, do not expect
to find ANYTHING useful on Microsoft's first CD. The first CD is just
a "reprint" of the information on Microsoft's Y2K page
(http://www.microsoft.com/y2k), which is arguably one of the least
user-friendly Web sites in the world. The *second* CD-ROM, however,
will contain a free copy of the Microsoft Product Analyzer. :)
----------------------
Some Microsoft Patches
----------------------
I am going to assume that you have seen the movie " Ferris Bueller's
Day Off," especially the scene where the economics teacher (played by
Ben Stein) repeatedly says "Bueller ... Bueller ... Bueller ..." (see
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/1633/bueller.wav). Please try
to imitate that same droning, monotonous voice as you read the
following:
Microsoft has found some bugs. They have released some patches. Word
97 users need to download a "template security patch" at
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/wd97sp.htm
and Office 97, Outlook 98, and Project 98 users need to download a
separate "Forms 2.0 Control Security Patch" at
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/fm2paste.htm .
... anyone? ... anyone? ... anyone? ...
[Seriously, though, download the patches, install them, and get on
with your life.]
TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP(S):
Microsoft's Y2K Tools / Some Microsoft Patches
TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESS(ES):
http://204.118.129.122/y2kcd/y2kcd.asp
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/wd97sp.htm
http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/downloaddetails/fm2paste.htm
--------------------------------
TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE DAY
--------------------------------
AW-BENNIE (Noun). Town name.
Usage: "The capital of New Yawk is Aw-bennie."
[Special thanks to Dan A. James for today's wurd]
You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at
http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html
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