Date:         Sat, 17 Jul 1999 02:00:28 -0500
Sender:       The Internet TourBus - A virtual tour of cyberspace
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Comments:     Originally-From: Patrick Douglas Crispen 
From:         Patrick Douglas Crispen 
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    Darwin Awards / Cows on Parade
Howdy, y'all, and greetings from temperate Alabama (EEEK!  I'm running
out of adjectives to describe my home state!).
TOURBUS is made possible by the kind support of our sponsors.  I want
to thank the folks at "the International Advisory Panel," "Zmedia,"
and "Automation Consulting and Supply" for making today's post
possible.  As always, please visit our wonderful sponsors and thank
them for keeping the bus rolling!
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On with the show ...
Everybody sing along:
      Happy birthday to you,
      Happy birthday to you,
      Happy birthday dear bu-us
      Happy birthday to you!
Yes, folks, our little bus of Internet happiness is now four years
old!  Is it just me, or have the last four years FLOWN by?
For those of you who have been on the bus since the start, THANK YOU!
And for those of you who have joined us along the way, THANK YOU TOO!
TOURBUS would not be here today were it not for your support.
Thank you again.  :)
The Darwin Awards
You've probably heard the apocryphal story about that guy who strapped
a jet-assisted take-off unit to the roof of his 1967 Chevy Impala and
then smashed into an Arizona cliff face at about 300 miles per hour.
Such stories are classified under what's called "the Darwin Awards,"
awards that commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by
eliminating themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby
improving our species' chances of long-term survival (hence the name).
Well, you can now find a bunch of Darwin Award stories at .
The site has a huge archive of dozens of Darwin Award-winning stories
from the past nine years, and it even offers an honorable mention
section that lets you see other stories that just didn't make the cut.
The site also offers a free email newsletter to keep you up to date
with the latest darwin award stories.  To subscribe, just key in your
email address in the appropriate box on the web site.
I get the feeling that most of the stories on the Darwin Awards site
are, at best, apocryphal, and shouldn't be taken seriously.  And I
guess that's the point.  The Darwin Awards site is just plain fun.  :)
Cows on Parade
If you were in Zurich last year, you probably noticed that the town
was literally infested with cows.  Life-sized fiberglass polyester
cows, to be exact.  Zurich's companies sponsored the cows, gave them
to artists to decorate, and then sprinkled the decorated cows
throughout the city.
Wait.  It gets better.  The fiberglass cows were so popular that they
attracted as many as 1 million new visitors to Zurich.  The city went
absolutely cowabunga (sorry ... I couldn't resist).  :P
Chicago businessman Peter Hanig saw the cows on a trip to Zurich last
year, borrowed the idea, and there is now a herd of approximately 300
decorated, fiberglass cows scattered throughout the great city of
Chicago.  The cows are on display until mid-Fall, when they will be
auctioned off for charity.
I had a chance to spend last week in Chicago, and I can honestly tell
you that seeing Chicago's cows was one of the highlights of my trip.
Many of the cows are absolutely hysterical, and most are so well-made
that they classify as works of art.  And, thanks to the wonders of the
Internet, all of Chicago's Cows on Parade can be seen online at,1461,M-Metromix-Cows-insetbox!ArticleDetail-406
If that link doesn't work, point your Web browser to 
and click on the "Cows on Parade" link on the right-hand side of the
page.  On the next page, click on the "A list of cows including photos
and a map" link, which is also on the right-hand side of the page.
This will take you to the same page we listed above.
To see a picture of a particular cow, scroll down the page and then
click on that particular cow's link (this could possibly be the
silliest sentence I have ever written).  Clicking on a cow's link
opens up a Javascript pop-up window that shows you:
      1. The cow's name.
      2. The cow's artist.
      3. The cow's patron (in other words, the name of the folks who
         paid to design the cow).
      4. The cow's location.
      5. A picture of the cow.
If you find a cow that confuses you, take a look at its patron.  For
example, one of the cows -- "Give the Lady What She Wants" -- has a
bunch of packages on her back.  This could be confusing until you
notice that the cow's sponsor is Marshall Field's, a world famous
department store.
Which is the best cow?  You decide!  Art-experts will probably enjoy
Mike Baur's "Odalisque (after Delacroix)" and Karl Kochvar's
"Guernsica."  Chicago Cubs fans will enjoy Ken Aiken's "Holy Cow"
which is located outside of WGN Radio's Showcase Studio.  I think my
favorites are Peter Van Vliet's "Udder Romance," Chris Holt's "Bridge
Cows 1 and 2," and Craig Wartman/Robert Finzel's "Mooooonwalk."
By the way, you can also vote for your favorite cow on the Metromix
site.  Just look for the "Enter the Udder Best Cow poll" link near the
top of the Cow Sightings page.
That's it for this week!  Have a safe and happy weekend, and we'll
talk again next week.
    Darwin Awards / Cows on Parade
COW-REES (noun).  A measurement of heat.
Usage: "I'm on a diet ... how many cow-rees are in a Moon Pie?"
[Special thanks to Yechezkel Missel for today's wurd]
You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at 
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2239
Copyright © Bob Rankin and Patrick Crispen - All rights reserved
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TOURBUS -- 15 JULY 1999 -- DARWIN AWARDS  /  COWS ON PARADE, viruses, hoaxes, urban legends, search engines, cookies, cool sites
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