Date:         Wed, 29 Dec 1999 22:03:16 -0600
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Comments:     Originally-From: Patrick Douglas Crispen 
From:         Patrick Douglas Crispen 
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    The Armageddon Issue
TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESS(ES):,1400,14353,00.html
Howdy, y'all, and Happy Armageddon from the beautiful city of
Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  TOURBUS is made possible by the kind support of
our sponsors.  I thank the folks at "" and "TurboTax" for
making today's post possible.  As always, please visit our wonderful
sponsors and thank them for keeping the bus rolling!
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On with the show ...
It's the end of the world as we know it ... and I feel fine
Now that we are literally in the twelfth hour, people are starting to
panic about whether or not their computers are really Y2K compliant.
My suggestion?  Take a chill pill!  Despite what you have heard, this
is not the end of the world.
If you are a "last minute/least critical effort" person (like me) and
have postponed your Y2K updates until now, here is what you need to
do to quickly and easily ensure that your PC will survive this
The Full Shebang
If you have Windows 3.1, 95, 98, or NT, and are looking to do a FULL
"last minute/least critical effort" Y2K prep, your best bet is to
point your Web browser to,1400,14353,00.html
and follow PC World's step-by-step instructions.  The full prep should
take about an hour to complete.
Mac users should check out Apple's Y2K page at 
as well as Macintouch's Y2K page at .
While the Macintosh hardware and operating system are ready for the
year 2000, some Mac programs -- like Filemaker and Cyberdog -- are
NOT!  Mac users should visit both of these pages, especially the
latter, to ensure that their programs will still work come Saturday.
The "Lick and a Promise" Route
If you have a Windows 95 or 98 PC and want to do a QUICK "last
minute/least critical effort" Y2K prep, do this (unfortunately, there
is no quick prep for Mac users, but that's only because the Mac
hardware and OS are already Y2K compliant):
First, visit the homepage of your PC's manufacturer and see if your
PC's hardware is Y2K compliant.  A list of every major PC manufacturer
can be found at
Most PC manufacturers have created special Web pages for every PC
model they have ever sold, telling you if a particular model is Y2K
complaint (and, often, telling you what you need to do to make your
computer ready for Y2K).  If you can't find any Y2K information about
your particular model, you'll need to go through the "whole
shebang"/PC World route I mentioned above.
Once you have verified that your hardware is ready for the date
change, you'll need to check your software.  There are two ways to do
this.  First, download and install Microsoft's free Y2K Product
Analyzer, which can be found at
If that address doesn't work -- my email program tends to chop up long
addresses -- go to 
and click on the "Microsoft Product Analyzer" link on the right-hand
side of the page (in the red box).
Once you install the Product Analyzer (by running the self-extracting
Y2K.exe program), the program will add a "Microsoft Year 2000 Product
Analyzer" group to your Start menu (under Start --> Programs).  All
you have to do is run the program from the Start menu.
Microsoft's Product Analyzer will:
      1. Scan your hard drive(s) for any installed Microsoft products
         (like Windows, Word, PowerPoint, Flight Simulator, and so on);
      2. Compare your versions to a built-in database of known Y2K
      3. Launch your Web browser (brace yourself: if Netscape is your
         default browser, the Analyzer will actually launch Netscape
         instead of IE!);
      4. Display an HTML-based "Year 2000 Compliance Summary" showing
         you which of your Microsoft products are Y2K compliant and
         which need updates.  Best of all, since the compliance summary
         is just a Web page, you can click on the links in the summary
         to download the necessary Microsoft product patches and
If you haven't run Microsoft's Product Analyzer in the past couple of
months, you might want to download and run it again.  Microsoft
recently updated the Analyzer's database with some new Y2K
Finally, go to 
and download CNET's free "Y2K Catchup" program (close your Web browser
when you have finished downloading).  CNET Y2K CatchUp will
automatically check the popular software titles on your system for Y2K
compliance and then direct you to patches and updates available for
download.  Think of it as a Microsoft Product Analyzer for non-
Microsoft products.
Once you install CNET's Catchup program (by running the self-
extracting cnetcup13.exe program), Catchup will launch your Web
browser and reconnect you to the page.  Click on the
"Start Y2K Catchup" button on this page, and Catchup will (eventually)
scan your hard drive(s) looking for known Y2K incompatibilities.
Once the scan is complete, you'll be taken to a page that has a "Get
Y2K Report" button on it.  Click on this button and you'll be shown a
report telling you which files on your computer are Y2K compliant and
which ones are not (and, if they aren't, where to go to download the
appropriate patches).
That's about it.  Check your hardware compatibility and run both
Microsoft's Product Analyzer and CNET's Catchup Program and you should
survive Y2K without too many problems.  :)
We talked about this before, but I thought I'd say a few, quick words
about the Hunger Site again this week simply because I think the site
is cool (and I can't think of a better site with which to ring in the
New Year).
Point your Web browser to the Hunger Site at 
and click on the "Donate Free Food" button.  Every time you click on
that button, one of the Hunger Site's sponsors donates 3 cents to the
organization running the Hunger Site's Web page.  Of that 3 cents,
approximately 2.58 cents is sent to an international relief
organization [currently the donations are going to the United Nations
World Food Program].  You can only click on the "Donate Free Food"
button once every 24 hours.  Still, if you are looking for a way to
make a small difference in the life of someone suffering from hunger
and malnutrition, add the Hunger Site to your bookmarks and try to
visit it once a day.
And, finally ...
Here is the best piece of Y2K advice I can give you: DON'T DRINK AND
That's it for this year.  Your fearless bus driver is driving off to
Chicago in the morning to celebrate Y2K in the Windy City.  [A group
of friends of mine and I have rented a van and wired it to support two
computers, a hub, a DVD player, and a radar detector.  So, if you see
a white van on the side of I-65 with a blown alternator, that'll be
us!]  Have a safe and happy holiday, and we'll talk again in the new
AHMAGEDDON (phrase).  Reaching a certain state.
Usage: "Ahmageddon sick of all this Y2K nonsense!"
[Special thanks to Barry Haworth for today's wurd]
You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at 
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2239
Copyright © Bob Rankin and Patrick Crispen - All rights reserved
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TOURBUS -- 30 DECEMBER 1999 -- THE ARMAGEDDON ISSUE, viruses, hoaxes, urban legends, search engines, cookies, cool sites
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