Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 22:36:16 -0500
Reply-To: TOURBUS-Request@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
Sender: The Internet TourBus - A virtual tour of cyberspace
From: Bob Rankin
Subject: TOURBUS - 11 Jan 2000 - THE TOURBUS FAQ IS BACK!
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\___/ \___/ T h e I n t e r n e t T o u r B u s \___/
Free Greeting Cards, Polls and more fun at http://www.TOURBUS.com !
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: The Tourbus FAQ
Hi all! It's a new year, that means it's time again for the annual
"TOURBUS Frequently Answered Questions" issue. Patrick and I have
lots of fun stuff in store for you in 2000, but it's important to
pause for a few moments and share in this warm fuzzy Q&A session.
Reading this entire issue is like eating your oatmeal - it's just the
right thing to do. So just read it.
+--------------------- ((0)) THE BIG EYE ((0)) -------------------+
"Forget search engines. You rule!"
Announcing a new way to find the best on the Web. Compare The BIG
EYE to any search engine. A better model for the Web. Subscribe
FREE to "In Sight of The BIG EYE" at www.bigeye.com/subscribe.htm.
+-------------------------> www.bigeye.com <----------------------+
------------------
WHAT *IS* TOURBUS?
------------------
TOURBUS is a free email newsletter published twice a week, and read by
over 90,000 people in 130 countries around the globe. Your tour
guides Bob Rankin and Patrick Crispen (also known as the "Click and
Clack" of the online world) explain Internet technology in plain
English, with a dash of humor. Since 1995, Tourbus riders have been
getting the scoop on Search Engines, Spam, Viruses, Cookies, Urban
Legends, and other topics. We also give you in-depth reviews of the
most useful, fun and interesting sites on the Net.
-----------------------------------
WHO ARE THESE CLICK AND CLACK GUYS?
-----------------------------------
Bob Rankin, known as "Doctor Bob" in the online world, is a writer and
computer programmer who enjoys exploring the Internet and sharing the
fruit of his experience with others. Bob got a degree in Computer
Science (RPI, 1984) and worked as a Professional Geek at IBM for about
13 years. His work has appeared in Yahoo Internet Life, Boardwatch
Magazine, ComputerWorld, NetGuide, NY Newsday, and other publications.
Bob is webmaster for FlowersFast.com and author of several computer
books including "The No BS Guide to Red Hat Linux".
Patrick Douglas Crispen, known as "Patrick Douglas Crispen" in the
online world, is author of the ROADMAP workshop, a Net tutorial that's
been read by billions and billions. Formerly a professional college
student, he has finally graduated with a degree in Economics. But
instead of crunching numbers with Alan Greenspan (like he told his
Mother he would), he is now a web designer, lecturer and radio
personality. Patrick is also author of the excellent book "Web Page
Design" and serves as Internet Mythologist for WGN Radio, AM 720,
Chicago.
-------------------
HOW DID I GET HERE?
-------------------
You should really be asking your mother that question. Oh, you mean
how did you get on the Tourbus mailing list? Well that's easy... You
asked for a subscription, then you confirmed that request. That's the
ONLY way ANYONE can get this newsletter. We NEVER add anyone without
their permission. Both Bob and Patrick are vehemently anti-spam and
tend to get "edgy" when people suggest otherwise. So don't.
Your e-mail address will not be revealed to anyone. We hate spam as
much as you, so your e-mail address is safe with us. We don't sell or
rent our mailing list to anyone - ever - really.
---------------------------
HOW MUCH DOES TOURBUS COST?
---------------------------
TOURBUS is absolutely free. All of the costs associated with keeping
the TOURBUS on the road are paid by our sponsors. Each issue will
contain short messages from our sponsors, like the ones you see above,
and right here:
+---------- BUY 1 GET 1 FREE ON MOST INKJET CARTRIDGES ---------+
Have you visited AFFORDABLE COMPUTER SUPPLY MARKETPLACE?
They have the best Printer Cartridges and Media Paper
prices on the web. They also offer FREE CARTRIDGES and a
CHANCE FOR A FREE VACATION. Why not click over and take
advantage of the savings on items you have to buy anyway?
http://www.acsmsupplies.com/tourbus.html or 1-888-429-9373
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
So please visit our sponsors, buy lots of stuff from them, and tell
them the TOURBUS brought you. :-)
--------------------------
WHEN IS TOURBUS PUBLISHED?
--------------------------
It's kind of hard to say. TOURBUS is, for the most part, distributed
every Tuesday-ish and Thursday-ish.
----
ISH?
----
Well, sometimes we get 'em out on time, but more often than not, an
issue is a day early or a day late. If you want to be technical (or at
least statistical), you could say that TOURBUS has a probability
distribution centered around Tuesday and Thursday, with a standard
deviation of a day or two. :)
-------------------------------------------
IS THERE AN ARCHIVE OF PAST TOURBUS ISSUES?
-------------------------------------------
Yep! You can find the TOURBUS archives from 1995 to present, and a
whole bunch of other TOURBUS-y stuff on the TOURBUS website at
Tourbus Website - http://www.tourbus.com
--------------------------------
IS TOURBUS AVAILABLE IN SPANISH?
--------------------------------
Funny you should ask. Yes, Tourbus is also available in SPANISH.
Visit the web address above and click on ESPANOL for more info.
----------------------------------------
HOW CAN MY FRIENDS SUBSCRIBE TO TOURBUS?
----------------------------------------
Just tell 'em to visit the TOURBUS website at
Tourbus Website - http://www.tourbus.com
and click on the TICKETS button. Or they can send an email to:
LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
with the command
SUBSCRIBE TOURBUS FIRSTNAME LASTNAME
in the body of their letter, replacing FIRSTNAME and LASTNAME with
their first and last names, of course.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW DO I CHANGE MY EMAIL ADDRESS, CANCEL OR SUSPEND MY SUBSCRIPTION?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just visit the TOURBUS website, click on TICKETS, and you can do all
of those fun and exciting things.
-------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS GETTING A BIT LONG - DO I HAVE TO KEEP READING?
-------------------------------------------------------
Yes. If you stop now, you'll miss out on the Cheezie Goldfish.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WHAT IS THAT HIDEOUS JUMBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH ISSUE?
-----------------------------------------------------------
It's a bus - a TOURBUS actually. To get the most out of TOURBUS, you
should use a monospace font like Courier. Most email programs let you
change the inbox font, but one notable exception is AOL for Windows.
You want help changing the font in your email program? I charge
$100/hour and I'm slow. You're better off reading the Help screen,
trust me.
Sometime soon we'll offer an HTML version of TOURBUS which will solve
this problem for most people, because we'll be able to control the
fonts from here, as well as add nifty graphics and lots of blinking
gadgets and stuff to the TOURBUS mailings.
----------------------------------------------
WHY DO THE WEB LINKS IN TOURBUS LOOK SO FUNNY?
----------------------------------------------
When we put a website link in the TOURBUS newsletter, we want you to
be able to just click and go directly to it. The format we normally
use looks like this:
Flowers Fast! - http://www.flowersfast.com
This allows over 95% of our readers to get a clickable hotlink. Yes,
we know that some people see TWO hotlinks, and some see the "raw" HTML
codes, but this seems to work for almost all readers, and almost all
email programs. If you don't like it, have another bowl of oatmeal.
--------------------------------------------------------
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TOURBUS AND TOURBUS PLUS?
--------------------------------------------------------
TOURBUS (the thing that you are reading right now) is a free,
twice-weekly, advertiser-supported, Internet newsletter.
TOURBUS Plus! is a fee-based subscription service (US$10 a year) for
people who want an additional TOURBUS post every weekend. Published
every Saturday-ish, TOURBUS Plus! is an exclusive newsletter available
only to TOURBUS subscribers.
Interested in learning more about TOURBUS Plus!? Hop on over to
Tourbus PLUS! - http://www.tourbus.com/plus.htm
Remember, though, that TOURBUS (the newsletter that you are reading
right now) is free, and will remain free ... and TOURBUS will continue
to offer the same in-depth information and online coverage that we
have offered for the past three years. TOURBUS Plus! helps Bob and
Patrick pay the evil bankers who actually expect us to pay our
mortgage and student loans.
----------------------------
HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET?
----------------------------
Well, actually, we've never met. We've exchanged hundreds of e-mails
and a couple dozen phone calls over the past few years. Bob thinks
Patrick might have been the tall guy who put his seat ALL THE WAY BACK
on that flight from Chicago to Philly, but he can't prove it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
PATRICK KEEPS MENTIONING "SQUIRRELS" IN HIS TOURBUS POSTINGS.
WHAT'S THE STORY?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The number one cause of power outages in the USA? The weather
(electrical storms, snow, etc.). The number two cause? Squirrels!
You don't believe it? Just go to the University of Alabama! It seems
that the squirrels living in the trees on the campus of the University
of Alabama have developed quite a taste for power lines... especially
for the power lines leading into the University's mainframe computer
center (if you are not electrically inclined, let me just add that
energetic squirrels and power lines do not mix well).
Back when he was running the Roadmap workshop in 1994, Patrick was
really concerned that if the University of Alabama's mainframe was
taken down by a squirrel (which was a regular occurrence at the time)
and he was not able to deliver that day's Roadmap lesson to the 64,000
people in the workshop, the participants would panic and mailbomb him
with 64,000 "where is today's lesson?" messages.
By telling the subscribers up front to expect a squirrel attack, he
kept himself from being mailbombed, elevated Alabama's squirrels to
Net-legend status (people around the world were even rooting for the
squirrels), and gained a really neat "trademark."
-----------------------------------------
WHAT ABOUT THE SOUTHERN WORDS OF THE DAY?
-----------------------------------------
TOURBUS subscribers send them in to Patrick, and he publishes the best
ones in his Thursday issues. Since Bob is a Northerner (where people
talk right) you won't see the SWOTD in the Tuesday editions. You can
find all the archived Southern Words at this web address:
SWOTD Archive - http://www.netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html
If you don't think the Southern Words are funny, you really need to
eat more oatmeal.
------------------------------------------------------------------
WILL MICROSOFT REALLY PAY ME $243 TO FORWARD A SILLY CHAIN LETTER?
------------------------------------------------------------------
No. We debunk a lot of urban legends, hoaxes and bogus virus warnings
on TOURBUS, but I still get a bunch of emails every day asking if the
FREE MONEY FROM BILL GATES, SICK CHILD or STOLEN KIDNEY stories are
really true. Of course they're not. Please check the TOURBUS archives
and use the search feature to get the scoop on these stories if you're
ever tempted to write and ask. You can also check out Patrick's Urban
Legend Combat Kit at
UL Combat Kit - http://www.netsquirrel.com/combatkit
And if you're as tired of these things as I am, and you want to read
something REALLY FUNNY, I've got a couple of treats for you...
WARNING, DANGER! - http://www.tourbus.com/warning.txt
CHEEZIE GOLDFISH - http://www.tourbus.com/cheezie.htm
Have fun, laugh heartily, and feel free to pass 'em along. See you
next time! --Bob Rankin
=====================[ Tourbus Rider Information ]===================
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-99, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
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