Date: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 04:49:05 +0000
Reply-To: TOURBUS-Request@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
Sender: The Internet TourBus - A virtual tour of cyberspace
From: Bob Rankin
Subject: TOURBUS - 02 Jan 01 - FAQaroni and Cheeze
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
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TOURBUS Volume 6, Number 48 -- 02 Jan 2001
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[ Tip: Use a monospace font like Courier when reading this message ]
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\___/ \___/ T h e I n t e r n e t T o u r B u s \___/
FIVE YEARS of Searchable Archives at http://www.TOURBUS.com !!
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: FAQ-aroni and Cheeze
Hi all! It's a new year, that means it's time again for the annual
"TOURBUS Frequently Answered Questions" issue. Patrick and I have
lots of fun stuff in store for you in 2001, but it's important to
pause for a few moments and share in this warm fuzzy Q&A session.
Reading this entire issue is like eating your oatmeal - it's just the
right thing to do. So just read it. If you make it all the way to
the end, you can snack on some cheezie goldfish. Oh, and passing this
issue along to a few friends would be a great way to introduce them to
TOURBUS!
+---------------------- SCORE SOME POINTS! -----------------------+
Get great, free rewards every time you are online! Visit a Web
site - earn Points. Read email - get more Points! Earn Points
for travel, recreation and merchandise from name-brand merchants.
CLICK HERE
+-----------------------------------------------------------------+
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WHAT *IS* TOURBUS?
------------------
TOURBUS is a free email newsletter published twice a week, and read by
over 90,000 people in 130 countries around the globe. Your tour
guides Bob Rankin and Patrick Crispen (also known as the "Click and
Clack" of the online world) explain Internet technology in plain
English, with a dash of humor. Since 1995, Tourbus riders have been
getting the scoop on Search Engines, Spam, Viruses, Cookies, Urban
Legends, and other topics. We also give you in-depth reviews of the
most useful, fun and interesting sites on the Net.
-----------------------------------
WHO ARE THESE CLICK AND CLACK GUYS?
-----------------------------------
Bob Rankin, known as "Doctor Bob" in the online world, is a writer and
computer programmer who enjoys exploring the Internet and sharing the
fruit of his experience with others. Bob got a degree in Computer
Science (RPI, 1984) and worked as a programmer at IBM for about 13
years. His work has appeared in Yahoo Internet Life, Boardwatch
Magazine, ComputerWorld, NetGuide, NY Newsday, and other publications.
Bob is Geek in Charge of Technical Stuff for FlowersFast.com and
author of several computer books including "The No BS Guide to Red Hat
Linux".
Patrick Douglas Crispen, known as "Patrick Douglas Crispen" in the
online world, is author of the ROADMAP workshop, a Net tutorial that's
been read by billions and billions. After spending many years as a
professional college student at the University of Alabama, he
graduated with a degree in Economics. But instead of crunching
numbers with Alan Greenspan (like he told his Mother he would), he
decided to go for a Masters in Educational Technology at Pepperdine.
In his spare time, he is a web designer, lecturer and radio
personality. Patrick is also author of the excellent book "Web Page
Design" and serves as Internet Mythologist for WGN Radio (AM 720) in
Chicago.
-------------------
HOW DID I GET HERE?
-------------------
You should really be asking your mother that question. Oh, you mean
how did you get on the Tourbus mailing list? Well that's easy... You
asked for a subscription, then you confirmed that request. That's the
ONLY way ANYONE can get this newsletter. We NEVER add anyone without
their permission. Both Bob and Patrick are vehemently anti-spam and
tend to get "edgy" when people suggest otherwise. So don't.
Your e-mail address will not be revealed to anyone. We hate spam as
much as you, so your e-mail address is safe with us. We don't sell or
rent our mailing list to anyone - ever - really.
---------------------------
HOW MUCH DOES TOURBUS COST?
---------------------------
TOURBUS is absolutely free. All of the costs associated with keeping
the TOURBUS on the road are paid by our sponsors. Each issue will
contain short messages from our sponsors, like the ones you see above.
So please visit our sponsors, buy lots of stuff from them, and tell
them the TOURBUS brought you. :-)
--------------------------
WHEN IS TOURBUS PUBLISHED?
--------------------------
It's kind of hard to say. TOURBUS is, for the most part, distributed
every Tuesday-ish and Thursday-ish.
----
ISH?
----
Well, sometimes we get 'em out on time, but more often than not, an
issue is a day early or a day late. If you want to be technical (or at
least statistical), you could say that TOURBUS has a probability
distribution centered around Tuesday and Thursday, with a standard
deviation of a day or two. :)
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IS THERE AN ARCHIVE OF PAST TOURBUS ISSUES?
-------------------------------------------
Yep! You can find the TOURBUS archives from 1995 to present, and a
whole bunch of other TOURBUS-y stuff on the TOURBUS website at
Tourbus Website - http://www.tourbus.com
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HOW CAN MY FRIENDS SUBSCRIBE TO TOURBUS?
----------------------------------------
Just tell 'em to visit the TOURBUS website at
Tourbus Website - http://www.tourbus.com
and fill in the subscription form there. Or they can send an email to
LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM with the command
SUBSCRIBE TOURBUS firstname lastname
in the body of their letter, replacing FIRSTNAME and LASTNAME with
their first and last names, of course.
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HOW DO I CHANGE MY EMAIL ADDRESS, CANCEL OR SUSPEND MY SUBSCRIPTION?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just visit the TOURBUS website, click on SUBSCRIBE, and you can do all
of those fun and exciting things.
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THIS IS GETTING A BIT LONG - DO I HAVE TO KEEP READING?
-------------------------------------------------------
Yes. If you stop now, you'll miss out on the Cheezie Goldfish.
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WHAT IS THAT HIDEOUS JUMBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH ISSUE?
-----------------------------------------------------------
It's a bus - a TOURBUS actually. To get the most out of TOURBUS, you
should use a monospace font like Courier. Most email programs let you
change the inbox font, but one notable exception is AOL for Windows.
You want help changing the font in your email program? I charge
$100/hour and I'm slow. You're better off reading the Help screen,
trust me.
Someday we may offer an HTML version of TOURBUS which will solve this
problem for most people. Then we'll be able to control the fonts from
here, as well as add nifty graphics and lots of blinking gadgets and
other annoying stuff to the TOURBUS mailings.
----------------------------------------------
WHY DO THE WEB LINKS IN TOURBUS LOOK SO FUNNY?
----------------------------------------------
When we put a website link in the TOURBUS newsletter, we want you to
be able to just click and go directly to it. The format we normally
use looks like this:
Yahoo! - http://www.yahoo.com
This allows over 95% of our readers to get a clickable hotlink. Yes,
we know that some people see TWO hotlinks, and some see the "raw" HTML
codes, but this seems to work for almost all readers, and almost all
email programs. If you don't like it, have another bowl of oatmeal.
----------------------------
HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET?
----------------------------
Well, actually, we've never met. We've exchanged hundreds of e-mails
and a couple dozen phone calls over the past few years. Bob thinks
Patrick might have been the tall guy who put his seat ALL THE WAY BACK
on that flight from Chicago to Philly, but he can't prove it.
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PATRICK KEEPS MENTIONING "SQUIRRELS" IN HIS TOURBUS POSTINGS.
WHAT'S THE STORY?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The number one cause of power outages in the USA? The weather
(electrical storms, snow, etc.). The number two cause? Squirrels!
You don't believe it? Just go to the University of Alabama! It seems
that the squirrels living in the trees on the campus of the University
of Alabama have developed quite a taste for power lines... especially
for the power lines leading into the University's mainframe computer
center (if you are not electrically inclined, let me just add that
energetic squirrels and power lines do not mix well).
Back when he was running the Roadmap workshop in 1994, Patrick was
really concerned that if the University of Alabama's mainframe was
taken down by a squirrel (which was a regular occurrence at the time)
and he was not able to deliver that day's Roadmap lesson to the 64,000
people in the workshop, the participants would panic and mailbomb him
with 64,000 "where is today's lesson?" messages.
By telling the subscribers up front to expect a squirrel attack, he
kept himself from being mailbombed, elevated Alabama's squirrels to
Net-legend status (people around the world were even rooting for the
squirrels), and gained a really neat "trademark."
-----------------------------------------
WHAT ABOUT THE SOUTHERN WORDS OF THE DAY?
-----------------------------------------
TOURBUS subscribers send them in to Patrick, and he publishes the best
ones in his Thursday issues. Since Bob is a Northerner (where people
talk right) you won't see the SWOTD in the Tuesday editions. You can
find all the archived Southern Words at this web address:
SWOTD Archive - http://www.netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html
If you don't think the Southern Words are funny, you really need to
eat more oatmeal.
------------------------------------------------------------------
WILL MICROSOFT REALLY PAY ME $243 TO FORWARD A SILLY CHAIN LETTER?
------------------------------------------------------------------
No. We debunk a lot of urban legends, hoaxes and bogus virus warnings
on TOURBUS, but I still get a bunch of emails every day asking if the
FREE MONEY FROM BILL GATES, SICK CHILD or STOLEN KIDNEY stories are
really true. Of course they're not. Please check the TOURBUS archives
and use the search feature to get the scoop on these stories if you're
ever tempted to write and ask. You can also check out Patrick's Urban
Legend Combat Kit at
UL Combat Kit - http://www.netsquirrel.com/combatkit
And if you're as tired of these things as I am, and you want to read
something REALLY FUNNY, I've got a couple of treats for you...
WARNING, DANGER! - http://www.tourbus.com/warning.txt
CHEEZIE GOLDFISH - http://www.tourbus.com/cheezie.htm
Have fun, laugh heartily, and feel free to pass 'em along. See you
next time! --Bob Rankin
=====================[ Tourbus Rider Information ]===================
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2000, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
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