Date:         Thu, 11 Oct 2001 20:59:57 -0400
Sender:       The Internet TourBus - A virtual tour of cyberspace
Comments:     Resent-From:
Comments:     Originally-From: Patrick Douglas Crispen

From:         Patrick Douglas Crispen 
Subject:      TOURBUS -- 11 OCT 01 -- KLINGERMAN, 000, BOOKMARKS,
              AND FRIGHTMARES
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                TOURBUS Volume 7, Number 23-- 11 Oct 2001
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    Klingerman, 0000, Bookmarklets, and Frightmares
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from beautiful Tuscaloosa,
Alabama, a large, nearly landlocked bay connected with the Pacific
Ocean by a strait called the Golden Gate.  :P
TOURBUS is made possible by the kind support of our sponsors.  PLEASE
take a moment to thank each of our sponsors for keeping our little bus
of Internet happiness on the road week after week.
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  to give away as gifts."  SHIPPING IS FREE IN THE USA!
On with the show ...
Klingerman Part Deux
Remember the Klingerman Virus hoax, the one that said people are
being infected with a mysterious virus after opening blue snail mail
envelopes?  We talked about this hoax back on May 25th of last year
(see ).
Well, after the recent terrorist attacks in the Northeast
( ) and the recent anthrax
outbreak in Florida ( ),
the Klingerman Virus has once again raised its ugly head.  :(
Fortunately, the Klingerman Virus is *still* a hoax.  IT SIMPLY ISN'T
TRUE!  How do I know?  The United States Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention's National Center for Infectious Diseases' Web site
says the Klingerman Virus is a hoax: .
If the CDC NCID (e-i-e-i-o!) say's it's a hoax, it's a hoax.
Period.  :)
Bang, I'm Dead ... But The Carpet Looks WONDERFUL!
There is another bogus message floating around the Net informing you
that if you create a fake "!0000" or "0000" contact in your email
address book you can prevent your computer from spreading Internet
viruses (actually, "worms") to all of your friends and colleagues.
Yeah, right.  THIS DOESN'T WORK, FOLKS!  There are a BUNCH of reasons
why this doesn't work, most of which are discussed in a wonderful
article at .
Rob Rosen, the guru at and all-around good guy, files the
0000! trick in the "poor advice from non-experts" category [see ].  I respect Rob a lot,
but I disagree.  I file the 0000! Trick in the "how not to get blood
on your carpet when you are playing Russian roulette" category.
Wanna know the easiest way not to get blood on your carpet when you
are playing Russian roulette?  DON'T PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE!  Problem
solved.  :P
The 0000! trick email fails to recognize that the easiest way for you
to prevent infecting your friends' and colleagues' computers with
viruses is for you to NOT GET A VIRUS IN THE FIRST PLACE.  As long as
you practice "safe surf" -- update your antivirus definitions
regularly, run Windows Update and download all of the Critical Updates
at least once a month, enable macro virus protection in Microsoft
Word, and avoid email attachments by either not opening them
altogether or at minimum deleting any email attachment that ends in
.exe or .vbs and virus scanning all remaining attachments before
opening them -- your computer will be about as safe from viruses as it
can get.
Problem solved.
Bookmarklets Part Deux
If you had problems understanding my last post on how to create an
Urban Legend search bookmarklet, check out .
Your fearless bus driver has created a page that shows you, step-by-
step, how to create bookmarklets.  And, unlike my last TOURBUS post,
this page has pictures -- including some really cool animated GIFs (of
which I am quite proud).
I hope this helps.
I Had a Frightmare
Okay, enough serious stuff.  Let's have some fun.
Family Circus is, without a doubt, the most wholesome, family-friendly
newspaper comic strip around.  Created by Bill Keane, Family Circus
shows "humorous portraits of the intimate moments in family life,
based on [Keane's] own real-life family circus."  If you haven't seen
an American newspaper's comics section in a while and would like to be
reminded of how utterly decent Family Circus is, check out the
official Family Circus Web site at .
Now for the fun part (and if you are easily offended, I *STRONGLY*
recommend that you skip this last stop).
If you are a fan of truly tasteless satire -- a la Satire Wire or The
Onion -- and want to laugh harder than you have laughed in a LONG
time, check out the customer reviews of Keane's "I Had a Frightmare"
Family Circus book at Amazon:
If that link doesn't work,
      1. Go to
      2. Search for the word "frightmare," but make sure that you
         search in "Books" NOT in "All Products."
      3. Click on the third link, the one with the five gold stars next
         to it.
      4. Click on the "Reviews" button.
      5. Scroll to the bottom of the page and read the reviews from the
         bottom up (they are funnier that way).
      6. Change your underwear.  :P
After all the tragedy of the past month, I *really* needed something
to give me a good laugh.  I haven't laughed this hard in AGES.  :)
    Klingerman, 0000, Bookmarklets, and Frightmares
[The Southern Word of the Week has taken a one month vacation but
will return next Thursday-ish.]
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2239
Copyright © Bob Rankin and Patrick Crispen - All rights reserved
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TOURBUS - 11 OCT 01 - KLINGERMAN, 000, BOOKMARKS,, viruses, hoaxes, urban legends, search engines, cookies, cool sites
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